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I lookjng to never be bad or mean. It's just my way of dealing. Like the sad clown that smiles into the crowd, while holding back so many tears.
Shielding his pain with a mask made of paint. Even the best of clowns, can't always hide behind that facade forever. It was best said once by Smokey Robison, "If you look closely it's easy to trace Wewt tracks lookin in Auburn Maine only my tears.
To hold it back or bury it deep inside me, while showing only that bravado. Back to my childhood and that ever present idem. Imagine that you'd try to prevent your child from showing any emotion. Actively teaching your child to not cry Not taken into account But it wasn't in our culture to baby men.Love In Cardington
Even if those so-ed men Now, I said this not as an excuse or a reason for the failer that was my marriage. Just so you take everything into consideration while judging me.
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That having feeling and emotions, some how makes you less of man. And maybe Grorge does, women say that like sensitive guys, yet always pursued the "bad boys" they're pet projects that only they'll be able to "fix or change" The emptiness I live with now is intensified by, the absence of my children.
My kids are my world Although the man is not my child, Costa rican woman miss him as much if not. He was mine when ladis was scared at the dentist. Mine when I've taught him how to play Wii, soccer, football, and I'm proud to say chess. I had been in his life since he was 2 yrs. Now he's the acting man of house.
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I'm sure of it I made sure he knew, that he was after mom of course the man of the house. He was charged with taking care of his sisters and their mother in my absence. A job he took always took very seriously.
He's growing up to be such a fine young man. And it's my sincerest hope that I had some small part in.
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They are the casulities of our marrige's demise. The collateral damage, who's life will from this point forward be not what I intended.
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Certainly more common, but none the less not what they deserve. They once had a father and a mother under the same roof, something they won't be able to say. Will they forget me? For all these things and many other some day I'll have to answer.
I know That day is coming soon.
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